I Was Done With Dating Then This Happened

I had deleted all the apps. I told myself I needed a break. Not the “I’ll be back in a week” kind of break—the “I’m done with this for good” kind. After a string of conversations that led nowhere, situationships that ended in confusion, and one too many nights questioning my worth, I was emotionally exhausted. I wanted real connection, but I was tired of pretending, performing, or hoping someone would finally see me for who I was.

A month went by. Then two. I spent more time with myself. Journaling. Reading. Sitting in silence without checking notifications. I started thinking less about what someone else might want—and more about what I need to feel safe, seen, and loved.

Then, one day, a friend sent me a screenshot of someone she thought I’d connect with. “If you ever go back on,” she said, “he seems like your kind of energy.” I laughed, but curiosity got the better of me. I redownloaded the app—just to look.

He was still there.

His profile was simple, but honest. No games, no gimmicks. He talked about emotional intelligence, Sunday pancakes, and how he once backpacked solo just to get to know himself. It felt intentional. And for the first time in a long while, I didn’t feel pressure—I felt peace.

I matched with him. And the first message wasn’t anything profound. It was just, “Hey, I almost didn’t come back on here, but I’m glad I did today.” That one line led to a conversation that didn’t feel like flirting—it felt like recognition. Like meeting someone who had also done the inner work. Who wasn’t looking for someone to fix or entertain him, but someone to grow with.

We’re still learning each other. Still building slowly. But there’s no anxiety. No second-guessing. Just presence. And I’m realizing: love doesn’t always come when you’re searching. Sometimes, it arrives when you’ve finally stopped looking outward and started listening inward.

So if you’re feeling like giving up—maybe give it to yourself first. Give yourself the care, the honesty, the rest. Because when you reconnect with you, the connections that follow will feel different. Fuller. Calmer. Realer.